Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
40s are totally the cure
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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