it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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