Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
