So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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