Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
