I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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