Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize