I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
