You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
