His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
