you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
