Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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