where does the pee come out of this thing
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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