he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
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