How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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