just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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