I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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