i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
