I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can I color on your dick again?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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