I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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