i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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