Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I've blown a few things in my day
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
