just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize