the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
