my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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