I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
3 2 1 whiskey
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
