Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
