He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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