Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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