hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
