Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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