Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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