It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize