i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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