Kareoke will never be a sober sport
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
