if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
