you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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