you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
