For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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