So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
There's always time for handjobs
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
