sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
