I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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