How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
