Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
