my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
