So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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