i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
