I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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