you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
