So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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