my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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