Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
