in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
