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He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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