We're like a lot better than the average bears
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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