You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
