VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
