How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
