i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
