wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
